let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
