Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
