Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
honey bunches of taint.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
