We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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