thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
