I don't think brook has ever known best
where does the pee come out of this thing
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
