Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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