sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
