i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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