sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
