If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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