My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
you had me at cake vodka
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
