Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i believe in u and ur pee
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