This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
