we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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