Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
