just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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