my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
