i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
