i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize