Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
