Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
