Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
