glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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