The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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