Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
