That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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