Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
