I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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