so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
