i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i drank out of a bidet.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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