I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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