Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
