I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
