im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
