if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize