the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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