You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
