Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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