dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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