I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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