I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
