She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
