i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
