ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I deserve this hangover.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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