Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
