Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
