it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
