i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
