Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
