So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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