do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
