There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
