this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
