I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Houston, we have a squirter
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
