We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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