Kiss
Puke
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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