And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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