The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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