She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize