Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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