You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
